Aug 06 2009

The Jonas Brothers of Vampire Movies

Posted by methodicalneuropathy in Grievances
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What’s with all these idiot-ass twats clamoring for the movie Twilight? I shrugged it off as worthless the moment I saw the first ad/trailer for it, and rightfully so. After all the hype, my girlfriend, who was also sure it was a joke, wanted to see what all the obsession was about. I, unfortunately, sat down to watch said bullshit with her. I don’t think we actually made it through the first half hour of the movie. It was complete garbage, and layers of gay beyond all human understanding. Or what I like to refer to as “The Jonas Brothers of Vampire Movies”. It had elements of a “teen” movie mixed with elements of Dawson’s Creek, and Dawson’s Creek prevailed. It’s just ridiculous how these idiots, mainly ditsy females, clamor over this movie. It has built a huge fandom, with ages ranging from child to middle aged cunts with growths in their earlobes who dress up as vampires at “Twilight parties” (seriously, these people fucking exist). Anyway, in closing, if you were considering watching this movie to see what all the fuss is about, you’re better off using the time to practice with your favorite phallic-like object to remove your gag reflex so that you can prepare yourself for the next huge commercial cock to be crammed down your throat. Later kids

3 Responses to “The Jonas Brothers of Vampire Movies”

  1. Mandununun says:

    Nasty vampire wanna-be bitches and their earlobes…fuck them. Seriously, because they’ve probably never even seen a real cock. Speaking of huge cocks, I want yours crammed down my throat. :) I love you!

  2. James says:

    HAH! Yeah i was the same way when it came out. The horror genre fan in me was like “hey why not see what all the fuss is about?” but the common sense in me said “fuck it”, and yes i too am sick and tired of the fucking fan base it has…. I mean honestly what in the hell do they see in that piece of shit?! OH and next time you go to wal-mart check out the section at the front with books they have not only all the twilight books but they have these little generic teenage vampire drama books i could’ve just killed myself right then and there.

  3. Bob says:

    you know you like twilight you silly goose

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