methodicalneuropathy

Q: What does a bag of flour and the mileage of a porn star’s cunt have in common?

A: They’re both measured in pounds

To have extreme distaste for someone to the point you want to throw them off a bridge face first, just because of the color of their skin is wrong in every sense of the word. Unless, of course, that skin color happens to be orange

Q: What does a Spanish garlic farmer say when he’s cut off in traffic?

A: Suck my ajo!

You better have your shit together, because today, the fuckin’ Lord’s comin’. Have fun floating your punk ass up to your fuckin’ lord and personal savior.

When people say “good lookin’ out”. It was used a lot several years ago, so I don’t hear it nearly as much nowadays. But when I do, it makes me want to kill someone with a rubber mallet. You might think it’s petty, and if you do, you’re probably one of the cocksuckers who says “good lookin’ out”. Goddamn it, I hate that shit so much! If you find my ass unconscious in my crib, bleeding from the ears, you’ll know why

When pretentious douche-nozzle Americans try to pronounce a French item in its French pronunciation. Hey dickbag, it’s a croissant, not a fuckin’ “CWEHSOW”! The only exception I will make is if you happen to be a flamboyant gay male. In that case, you can say “CWEHSOW”, but everyone else pronounce it the right fucking way. If you don’t abide by this rule, Nazi gas chamber for you and the horse you rode in on. That is all

Made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a serving spoon,
Used the same convenience store cup at home for days,
And/or cooked breakfast food in a wok

Then maybe it’s time to wash the fucking dishes

Misuse of the word “sexy”. Don’t be a fucking douche. Inanimate objects not related to sex can’t be sexy. If you use the word sexy in this manner, kill yourself

Bitches with a lot of gums. Try not to smile that much, we don’t need to see your situation

People in the hood are from another planet, and it’s called Erf