Okay, so it was trash day today. And for anyone who has been to my place, sometimes I kind of procrastinate on taking my trash out, so there were a few bags. Also, there was this bag of nasty, unspeakable horror that no human should dare touch. It had wet, rusty pieces of metal, algae, and other nasty shit. Not to mention the same bag had random kitchen garbage as well. Well, I was getting all my garbage together, and I had my cell phone in my front pocket. I tied all the bags up, and then went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I came out of the bathroom and noticed there was no cell phone in my pocket. I looked all over the place, first in my office because that’s where I normally leave it. It wasn’t in there. I checked all the other rooms. No dice. So I happened along this site called “Where’s My Cell Phone” (http://www.wheresmycellphone.com), which I thought was a fucking scam at first (like one of those sites that gets your information and sells it), but ended up it was legit. I entered my cell number, and my phone started ringing. And you guessed it, it just happened to be coming from the nastiest fucking bag of trash in the kitchen. So I stuck my hand in the muck and pulled out my phone. Then I spent the next half hour in my bathroom cleaning the hell out of it with alcohol. Good times. So the next time you can’t find your cell phone, make sure to go to that site. It’s free (and no, I don’t get paid shit for saying that, you silly gooses). Until next time…