methodicalneuropathy

1 – legal abortions everywhere in the world

2 – legal gay marriage everywhere in the world

3 – reduced unemployment due to the vacancies left by those fucking “followers”

4 – a big drop in AIDS cases as the Catholic church does not approve the use of condoms (most AIDS cases in the world are in Africa, and there are over 130 million Roman Catholics in Africa today)

5 – Lowered homelessness due to the immediate availability of prime real estate where all those churches used to be

And don’t forget the runners-up:

6 – legalized porn everywhere (and maybe even on network TV)

7 – liquor sales during church hours

8 – no more suicide bombings

9 – lots of free shit left by all the churches and “followers”

10 – no more guilt

You better have your shit together, because today, the fuckin’ Lord’s comin’. Have fun floating your punk ass up to your fuckin’ lord and personal savior.

First off, Happy Belated New Year. I know it’s been a few months since I’ve updated this piece, but really, wouldn’t you rather I post quality shit periodically than a whole bunch of empty bullshit that no one wants to read? A lot of things have happened over the past few months, namely this whole business about thousands of assorted animals dying in droves. You would swear that the world is coming to a screeching halt, and if you’re some religious fanatical cocksucker, you probably do believe that.

Living in the Bible Belt, I’ve heard enough from these idiots about how we are living in “End Times” and their fucking lord and personal savior is coming back soon to take their punk asses to some invisible idiot farm in the sky. Well, guess what? Not going to happen. Why, you may ask? Because there will never be any “End Times”, there’s no “lord”, and although there are plenty of idiot farms to go around, there aren’t any invisible ones for empty motherfuckers to float up to.

The only “End Times” on this planet will happen in a few billion years when the fucking core burns out. Until that happens, there will be live and happy shit for many, many years to come. It’s just being selfish as a species, we like to relate our “End Times” with the End Times. That would be fucking peachy, except for the fact that if we’re it, the fucking pillar of existence, I think I would rather hang myself from the gallows. Humans are only an in-between, we are not created in the image of anything whatsoever, and we are definitely not any more special than any of the other animals on the planet. Well, we have invented a lot of interesting shit with this primate brain of ours. Winners such as: slavery, religion, genocide and torture just to name a few.

If all that shit makes us special, and if we are created in the image of “God”, then I’m sure that motherfucker has the whole hate thing down. Think about it, Nazis, the Klan and the Mormon church are religious organizations who believe a certain “race” is elite among all other “races”. And don’t get me started about how they feel about gay people. I’m sure if there really was a Christ, his doctrine wouldn’t say anything remotely similar to: “women are your servants, all the brown people are below you, and kill all the faggots”. And the sad thing is, I would say that I don’t feel those ideas would go too far, but unfortunately, it appears they have gone far enough.

I don’t mean to disrespect anyone’s religion here (well, maybe I do, a lot), but seriously, fuck your lord. Until next time kiddies…

Hello kids, I know you haven’t heard from me for a couple of months, but I just wanted to share this funny-ass video which I happened to see on a friend’s Facebook (goddamn, I fucking hate Facebook…).

And just a disclaimer (if you are new here), the atheist movement pisses me off. Although they’re right about the fact that there’s no boogieman, you don’t have to be such a douchy liberal faggot about it. With that said, I appreciate this old fuck’s wit. Anyway, enjoy the show. Oh, and fuck your lord:

Hello kids, today we’re talking about everyone’s favorite subject, religion. But more specifically agnosticism and atheism. Before we do get to that though, let me clear up some points first for you folks who might be visiting the page for the first time, and who happen to be Christian, or Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, etc. for that matter. I live in the Bible Belt, and in a country that accounts for almost half of its population as Christian (not to mention a planet that accounts over 1 billion people as Muslim), so I tend to generalize for the sake of saving time from naming everyone. The thing I needed to clear up first, if you haven’t figured it out already, all religions are a joke. There’s no debate about it. Your make believe friend is no more important than your neighbors’ make believe friends, or the folks 1,000′s of miles away from you. They’re all bullshit. Also, before I start taking jabs at some empty-headed fucks, let me go ahead and say that I consider myself, again for the benefit of simplicity, an Atheist. With that said, let’s get to the current piss-burn.

The atheist culture. And yes, there is very much a culture/fandom that has come out of this “atheist movement”. If you’ve noticed, many of the people who readily and without hesitation label themselves as atheists, are young people. I believe that the whole atheism claim from young people is not so much the result of actual critical thinking, as it is angst and rebellion. The same motherfuckers who, if they don’t start going to church when they settle down with Honey and pop out some bastards, will more than likely be praying to Jesus on their death bed when they’re 70. I think it’s also due to the absolute freedom to do so nowadays, and that it’s almost like joining a club. Really ballsy though, although I would like to see these same cocksuckers claim to be atheists a few hundred years ago. These people also claim to believe that everything, and I mean everything has come about by chance and by a series of accidental chemical reactions which have made life possible. These are also the same people who “have” coffee and are “well-read”. These people tend to be smug cocksuckers, and would give their life savings to give Richard Dawkins’ dick a good once-over. Something I do agree with Atheists/Agnostics on (and yes, I do consider them one in the same) is evolution. Evolution exists, it happened, it’s going on now, and will always go on. The only people who debate this are religious cocksuckers.

Religion only exists because it incites fear in people. You take someone who is impressionable and drive this bullshit down their throat, they’ll believe it for life. It’s kind of like McDonald’s. If you didn’t have Ronald giving your ass Happy Meals when you were a kid, you more than likely would never eat there. There is no way you could actually take an educated adult of average intelligence and tell him/her that there is some invisible cocksucker who lives in the clouds, and has a record of not only everything you’ve ever done, but everything you’ve thought about doing and has a punishment for you if you don’t give yourself to “Him”. That person would tell them to fuck off and get a life, and that would be it. Remember kids, religion wasn’t initially spread from adult to adult by door-to-door Mormons, it was spread by killing as many motherfuckers as you could and scaring the rest into believing your shit (and don’t forget the 10% tithe if you value your soul).

In closing, it’s all bullshit. The truth is, none of us know shit. You don’t know shit, and your crusty-ass grandma didn’t know shit either. We’re all primates, that’s a fact. We’re in the same family as chimps. So in other words, we’re not that goddamn special. The audacity for humans to create God in their image. There’s no heaven, there’s no hell, there’s no limbo, or any “judgment day” whatsoever. All these things are to scare the shit out of you. So what’s the point? Why are we here? We don’t know that for sure, but don’t look in places like religion to find the answer. Just try to do the right thing as much as you can, and help each other. Don’t worry about fucking money so much, and going without so you can buy that big screen television. Or building your credit rating so you can buy that hot ride so that skank with the clap will fuck you. We don’t know the point of everything, and personally, I don’t think we have the intellectual capacity to understand. But if you quiet your mind enough, you might be able to actually feel something other than anxiety or alcohol. Love is a great feeling, you should really consider trying it sometime. Until next time kids…